SCENE 14

 

Scene 14 opens to a silent, black screen. After a few moments of silent blackness, we hear a key being inserted into a lock and then, from the mailman side of the mailbox, we see the school mailbox door open away from us, revealing a piece of paper in the mailbox and Taylor's face on the other side. Music starts. Taylor quickly and with a look of determination snatches the paper on the inside, which is a test score report. Note there is no need to see a grade on the test report. On looking at the sheet, Taylor's face becomes a bit dejected and he breathes a sigh of disappointment. He reads the paper for a few moments and closes the box. Black screen. Still on the mailman's view, the camera moves to across a few closed mailboxes to another closed mailbox and stops, black screen. Key into lock, door opens to reveal Wally's face. He closes his eyes, eagerly grabs the paper, holds it in front of him, and opens his eyes. He screams in jubilation at this score and we see him jumping up and down, away from the mailbox, so that we have a wider view. Enter Taylor, who tells Wally that the last time he scored that high he went home and pleasured himself.  The camera goes down a few boxes to another box, which opens to Carolyn's face; she takes the paper, gives a half-smile/half-shrug (she could have done better, but oh well) and closes the box.  Across to mailbox number four, Shoopa is visibly irritated with her score. Mailbox number five is Becker, who grabs the paper, looks at it, smiles, looks into the mailbox (at us) and winks. Mailbox six is Failure Stud, who takes a deep breath and stares down the mailbox before he takes out the paper. When he looks at his score he is silently devastated - his worst fears have been realized. He puts his hand on his mouth, horrified. Last is Richard. When he looks at the paper he sighs and shakes his head. A random student walks by.

 

conciliatory stud

Hey man, sorry about the election. I voted for you.

 

Richard

Hey, thanks, no big deal.

 

Coniciliatory stud

I think that guy Becker's a prick.

 

Richard

I'm sure he'll do a great job.

 

conciliatory stud

Like hell he will. I know his kind. Luckily, I hear the class president doesn't do a damn thing anyway.

 

Cut to Richard walking into his room. On Richard's bed Skeeter is shaving a dog. Richard isn't surprised; he slouches down in a chair, discouraged and in a bit of a daze, still holding his test score.

 

Skeeter

shaving the dog

You look down, dude.

 

Richard

Remember when I came home from the test last week and told you I bombed and you said "I'm sure you did fine."?

 

Skeeter

Yeah.

 

Richard shows him the test. We don't see the score.

 

Skeeter

Hm. Misjudgment on my part.

 

Skeeter goes back to shaving the dog.

 

Richard

Where'd you get the dog?

 

Skeeter

She was wandering around outside, and looked like she needed a good shave.

 

This seems to satisfy Richard. He nods.

 

Richard

I really wonder if I'm cut out for this.

 

Richard looks at Skeeter for some encouragement, but Skeeter is really into shaving this dog.

 

Richard

I'm not a robot like some of these other guys. I can only study so much, you know?

 

Skeeter

I'm sure you'll do fine.

 

Richard digests this for a moment, then the phone rings. It's right next to Skeeter, and Richard looks at Skeeter expecting him to answer it, but Skeeter doesn't notice as he's shaving the dog. Richard gets up and answers the phone.

 

Richard

talking to phone as Skeeter shaves the dog

 

Hello?

 

Hey, Carolyn.

 

OK I guess.

 

Study group? 

 

Well it definitely couldn't hurt.

 

Wednesday?

 

Definitely. Hey, um, you wanna invite Shoopa?

 

Skeeter has finished shaving the dog and is now giving it big, wet kisses. The dog is licking Skeeter's face all over the place, disgusting.

 

Richard

into phone

I can bring Taylor.

 

Excellent. See you there.

 

Richard hangs up the phone. Cut to Skeeter and the dog.

 

Skeeter

in doggie voice

Yes...you're a shaved dog now aren't you?

 

 

More disgusting licks and kisses.

 

Cut to Carolyn's apartment study table. Shoopa and Carolyn are sitting next to each other, books and papers piled neatly, unopened. There's an easel with a blank pad of poster-sized paper, ready to be marked up. Carolyn is snacking on some pretzels.

 

 Carolyn

So what happened with you and Becker?

 

Shoopa

I was madly in love with him, and then fell out of love with him.

 

Carolyn

Sounds reasonable.

 

Shoopa

It wasn't.

 

Carolyn wants more, but Shoopa needs bait.

 

Carolyn

I can see why you were attracted to him.

 

Shoopa

Really? Why was I attracted to him?

 

Carolyn

laughing

That was my way of asking. He is good looking...

 

Shoopa

He was better looking when his head was smaller.  But I'll tell you - there were no games with Becker; it was always clear who was number one and that was the books. He is so driven.

 

Carolyn

That's sexy.

 

 

Shoopa

Guys that put everything into a relationship bore me.

she's getting nostalgic

Becker has his own life going on, and it goes on with or without you, and I loved that. I was swept up by it.

 

Carolyn

So what happened?

 

Shoopa

pauses

Well, it's like I have my rational mind and my love mind. When I get lured out of my rational shell I start thinking with this other brain, a brain that paints the world beautiful.

 

Carolyn smiles a big smile and leans forward a bit. Love is so great.

 

Shoopa

For better or for worse, that brain at some point runs out of paint.

 

Carolyn

It's for worse!

 

Shoopa

Maybe. If I didn't run out of paint I'd still be dating Becker.

 

She's got a point there. Carolyn nods in acknowledgment.

 

The door opens; Richard and Taylor stride in laughing about something.

 

Taylor

accusingly, jokingly

All right, now don’t get in front of us, what are you two talking about?

 

Shoopa

We just finished discussing coronary circulation. Sorry, but you're five minutes late.

 

Richard and Taylor have a seat at the study table.

 

Taylor

Cutthroat, dude.

 

Richard

How'd you guys do on the biochem test? I bombed.

 

Carolyn

I could have done better.

 

Shoopa

I bombed, too.

 

Taylor

jaded

So we all "bombed," but I'll bet we each have different ideas of bombed.

pause

You guys can be sure that when I say I bombed, I fucking bombed.

 

Shoopa

Well let's get to work so don't all fucking bomb the next test.

 

Carolyn

Do you think we'll have to know the names of all twelve cranial nerves?

 

Richard

No way.

 

Everyone looks at Taylor. Taylor nods the nod that says "Yep, you're going to have to know'em."

 

Shoopa

Christ.

 

Richard

exasperated

Why?? Who cares?? Is my patient going ask me if I know the name of the eighth cranial nerve?

 

Taylor motions to calm down.

 

Taylor

Relax. It's not a problem.

 

Carolyn

It's a huge problem. We have 113 nerves to memorize by next friday. I've counted.

 

She picks up a paper and reads from it.

 

Carolyn

113 nerves, 82 arteries, 44 muscles, 31 bones, and two chains of lymph nodes.

 

Taylor

Let me ask you guys a question. How would you characterize the sensation of touching and feeling very good vagina?

 

The group stares at him.

 

Taylor

Would you call it...heavenly?

 

Cut to fifteen minutes later.

 

Taylor

OK your turn Carolyn.

 

Carolyn

OK. The twelve cranial nerves.

she thinks for a moment, and recites the mnemonic haltingly

Oh oh oh to touch and feel very good vagina. Ah, heavenly. Olfactory, Optic, Occulomotor-

 

Taylor interrupts her.

 

Taylor

No no, you have say it with feeling.

 

Carolyn rolls her eyes.

 

Taylor

You need to have an emotional investment in your mnemonics, or you'll forget them.

Taylor recites the mnemonic melodramatically.

Oh oh oh to touch and feel very good vagina.

Taylor closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. A wave of calm euphoria overcomes him, and he smiles as though heroine is flowing into his veins.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....heavenly.

 

Cut to a couple hours later, full-screen shot of the easel, now with several pages turned over. Richard is at the easel, writing at the bottom of the page, "Maxillary." Written at the top of the page is the title, "BRANCHES OF THE EXTERNAL CAROTID ARTERY." The page is in two columns. In the left column, running down the page (one word per line) is "Some Anatomists Like Fellatio, Others Prefer S & M." In the right column, paralleling the mnemonic is "Superior thyroid artery; Ascending pharyngeal; Lingual; Facial; Occipital; Posterior auricular; Superficial temporal; Maxillary." Hold this shot long enough for audience to read it.

 

Cut to full view of the room. The table has aged considerably - chips, books and papers strewn everywhere, etc. The participants are tired. Richard finishes writing the mnemonic and looks at it for a few seconds.

 

Taylor

Do you think some anatomists like fellatio?

 

Carolyn

I'm sure some do.

 

Richard

Are you suggesting that some don't?

 

Taylor

At this point I've run into quite a few, and I'm not sure any of them like fellatio.

 

Carolyn

Did you have a bad experience trying to fellate an anatomist?

 

Shoopa

irritated

Guys, I have to go. I'm sorry but we have our practical in a week and I don't know a god damn thing.

 

Shoopa packs up her stuff and walks off. The group watches her leave silently.

 

Richard

dejected

Why'd she leave?

 

Carolyn

Maybe she used to work as an anatomist and got offended.

 

Cut to black.